Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
