i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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