the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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