Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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