well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
