You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
