I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
