I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
