id be glad to
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
