His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
