Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

No stitches, just platelets and will power

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(931): View more from Tennessee

a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.

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(419): View more from Ohio

somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...

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(714): View more from California

so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)

(1-714): View more from California

i'm so jealous of you right now.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(313): View more from Michigan

How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?

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(702): View more from Nevada

We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.

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(661): View more from California

So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?

(818): View more from California

I hate you.

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(970): View more from Colorado

In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I would fuck him just for his dog

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