need another drink. this is the easiest way
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety