Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work

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(231): View more from Michigan

So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?

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(630): View more from Illinois

Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(313): View more from Michigan

She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?

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(408): View more from California

I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed

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(718): View more from New York

We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...

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