so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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