Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Randomize
