Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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