let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Vodka?
Forever.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
