Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
