So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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