My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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