Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
