I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
