she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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