my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she was so not down for the gang bang
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
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We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
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He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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