it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
a search helicopter?!
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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