At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
