I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Floor bacon is actually really good
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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