Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
