oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize