yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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