Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
