I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
