Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
