in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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