my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We just shotgunned beers for America
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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