is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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