I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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