do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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