the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
