My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
