Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
