Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
