Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
