i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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