What did we do last night that was yellow?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
