Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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