took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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