She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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