i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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