I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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