honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
