hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
