if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
