I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
