Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
