Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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