alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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