I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I would fuck him just for his dog
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
