normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
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you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
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I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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