the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
