arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
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