he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
