I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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