it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
