Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
