i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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