I bet he comes in French.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
pop tarts are not kleenex
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
