i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
