Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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