so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
