Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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